


what do i do?

by kyaaaana



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 10:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17078393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaaaana/pseuds/kyaaaana
Summary: kahei falls in love with jinsoul





	what do i do?

The sun shone in Kahei’s eyes when she exited the shop, her eyes immediately squinting. She raised her hand to block the light.

“Come on, Kahei!” Hyunjin exclaimed, dragging Kahei by her arm. “My friend’s starting her first day at the boba place!”

Kahei let herself be dragged by the younger girl and smiled. She had only known Hyunjin for a year and a half but they had quickly gotten close. If Kahei was honest, she saw Hyunjin as a little sister that she’d never had, and she’d do anything to protect her. 

The walk to the boba place from the clothing store wasn’t a long one. They had gotten there before they noticed. Hyunjin opened the door and dragged Kahei into the shop.

Spotting her friend, Hyunjin exclaimed with a hand raised. “Jinsoul!”

Jinsoul turned around with a grin, waving back to Hyunjin and meeting the both of them at the register.

“Hey Hyun! I didn’t think you’d actually come visit.”

“It’s your first day, of course I would!” Hyunjin feigned a pout. “Oh yeah! This is my friend Kahei! Kahei, this is Jinsoul.”

Kahei looked Jinsoul up and down, taking in her blonde hair and quirky smile. Kahei nonchalantly raises her hand to wave with a grin, a very stark contrast to Jinsoul’s enthusiastic introduction. “Nice to meet you, Kahei! What can I get you guys? It’ll be on the house!” 

“Are you sure you can do that on your first day here?” Hyunjin frowns, “I wouldn’t want you to lose your job on your first day here.”

“Pretty sure I can’t but who’s going to stop me?” JInsoul shrugged, “So! What do you two want?”

“Your number.” 

Hyunjin gasped, and Jinsoul’s eyes widened, stuttering before replying. “U-uh, if you really want it I’ll give it to you?”

“I guess I’ll be calling you later tonight.” Kahei grinned and shot Jinsoul a wink.    
  


* * *

It had been about two months since Kahei and Jinsoul had started talking and hanging out. Kahei would visit Jinsoul during her shift, and afterwards, they’d go out for dinner and then back to either of their apartments to hang out.

Of course, Kahei wouldn’t admit it, but she had fallen hard for Jinsoul. She’d been meaning to confess sooner, but she never found the right time. Every time Kahei was going to say something, someone  _ had _ to interrupt, or something out of the ordinary  _ had _ to happen.

“Kahei, what are you doing this weekend?” Jinsoul turned to lay on her side and looked at Kahei.

“Hm?” Kahei turned her head to look back at Jinsoul. 

“Are you doing anything this weekend?”

“No, I don’t think I’m doing anything.” Kahei grinned. “Why? Are you going to take me out on a date?”

“Yeah.” Jinsoul’s voice didn’t have any hint of joking in it. 

“What? Are you serious?” Kahei furrowed her brows. She thought  _ she _ was the one that would confess.

“Mhm.” Jinsoul nodded. “I’ve… Actually had a crush on you for a while now.”

Kahei was stunned. Sure, a lot of people had crushes on her, but she’d never thought that Jinsoul would return the same feelings. Jinsoul was amazing. She was smart and beautiful and nerdy and quirky. 

“Are you sure you’re not joking? Because you tend to do that a lot.” Kahei snickered.

Jinsoul wrinkled her nose. “I’m really not joking, Kahei!”

“Prove it.”

Jinsoul rolled her eyes and pushed herself off the bed to be on top of Kahei. She grinned before leaning down and placing her lips against the older girl’s. And Kahei swore she was flying. Jinsoul’s lips were soft and she could taste the mint of her chapstick and the orange of the creamsicle bars they were eating earlier. Just when Kahei closed her eyes and started to get into the kiss, Jinsoul pulled away, a grin on her face.

“So? What do you think? Be my girlfriend?”

“How am I going to say no after a kiss like that?” Kahei chuckled, “And also, I was supposed to confess to you first.”

Jinsoul stuck her tongue out. “Too bad.”

“Oh?” Kahei grinned and turned the both of them over so that she’d be on top. “What’s that tongue do, huh?”

* * *

“Awwww, you guys are so cute!” Hyunjin squealed.

“Thanks, but when is  _ your _ girlfriend going to arrive?” Jinsoul raised a brow. “It’s not a double date if your date doesn’t come through.”

Kahei rolled her eyes. “Why are you so impatient, Soul?”

“I’m  _ not, _ Vivi!” Jinsoul huffed. “I just want to know who caught Hyunjin’s heart!”

“You guys even have nicknames for each other, that’s cute!” Hyujnjin squealed again and clasped her hands together before standing up and raising a hand. “Over here, Heejin!”

Kahei and Jinsoul both turned their heads and watched as a girl who looked somewhat like a bunny made her way over to their table. She sat next to Hyunjin and the two of them waitied for Hyunjin to introduce her to them.

“Kahei, Jinsoul, this is my girlfriend, Heejin!” Hyunjin gave them a wide smile. “And Heejin, these two are Kahei and Jinsoul. They won’t ever admit it, but I was basically their cupid.”

“You didn’t do anything other than introduce the both of us to each other, don’t take credit.” Kahei laughed before turning her attention to Heejin. “You’re really cute, I wonder how Hyunjin scored someone like you.”

“Hey!”

“No, Hyunjin’s the cute one in this relationship.” Heejin smiled and let out a small laugh.

“Aww, baby, you’re so sweet!” Kahei and Jinsoul watched as Hyunjin pinched Heejin’s cheeks. “But  _ you’re _ the cute one.”

Jinsoul groaned. “Oh my god, you guys are the disgustingly cute couple.”

“And what about it?” Hyunjin raised a brow. “You act as if that wasn’t how you and Kahei were when you both started going out. You can’t refute me, I was the thirdwheel.”

This made everyone at the table laugh, and soon, they ordered their food. The double date went by in a flash of laughter and embarrassing stories. By the end of the night, they had made Heejin feel welcome into their group. Jinsoul and Kahei dropped off Hyunjin and Heejin, then made their way to Jinsoul’s apartment.

The drive was in comfortable silence, the radio playing softly in the background. Kahei stared out the window at the city lights. This was comfortable; Jinsoul was comfortable. Kahei could spend the rest of her life with Jinsoul.

“Hey,” Kahei started, turning to look at Jinsoul. “I love you.”

Jinsoul almost swerved the car at the sudden revelation. 

Maybe Kahei should have waited until they were back home.

* * *

“Babe, you ready to go?” Kahei heard Jinsoul ask from the other room.

“Yeah, just give me a second.” Kahei sprayed some perfume before leaving the bathroom and meeting Jinsoul in the living room. “Alright, let’s go! We’re going to be late to our reservation!”

“Hey, I wasn’t the one taking an eternity getting ready.” Jinsoul laughed. “You look beautiful as always, by the way.”

Kahei was wearing a backless white dress that hugged her figure, her fading pink hair cascading down her back. Her ivory pointed toe heels gave her an extra four inches of height, although she was still shorter than Jinsoul who was also wearing heels. 

“I’m not the only one looking hot tonight.” Kahei grinned and licked her lips as she checked out Jinsoul. The blonde was wearing a strapless black jumpsuit, her hair in a sleek low ponytail so she could show her hoop earrings. 

Jinsoul only rolled her eyes as Kahei took a step closer to her and put an arm around her waist, nuzzling her face into Jinsoul’s neck.

“Didn’t you say we were going to be late for our reservation?”

Kahei hummed. “You think we can skip the restaurant?”

“No, it’s an expensive restaurant and we went through hell to make that reservation.” Jinsoul laughed. “We’re going.”

“Fine.” Kahei pulled away and made her way to the door, taking her keys off the table. “But once we get back, I want dessert.”

The drive to the restaurant didn’t take as long as they thought it would, and they were immediately seated when they arrived and were served some wine. 

Kahei held up her glass of wine and smiled. “Happy one year anniversary to us.”

Jinsoul smiled back and did the same, clinking her glass with Kahei’s. “Honestly, I’d never thought we’d get this far, but I couldn’t ask for any other person to have spent the last year with.”

“And hopefully, I get to spend the rest of my life with you.” Kahei leaned over the table and placed a kiss on Jinsoul’s forehead. “I love you, Jinsoul.”

“I love you too, Kahei.”

* * *

Kahei’s eyes fluttered open to a white ceiling, faint beeping besides her. She weekly turned her head to the side to see a girl slumped in a chair, eyes closed and hair messy, Kahei’s hands in hers. Kahei’s throat was dry.  _ What happened? _ She thought to herself. She squeezed the hand, and the girl woke up and moved closer.

When Kahei fully opened her eyes, she could see the face clearer, but she couldn’t remember who it was.

“Oh my god, are you awake, Kahei?”

Who was this girl and how did she know her name? Kahei slightly furrowed her brows in confusion. 

“Kahei, it’s me, Haseulㅡ your best friend.” Kahei could hear the desperation in her voice. She had a vague memory of her; like she knew her but didn’t at the same time. 

“Soo- Sooyoung!” Haseul shouted. “Get the doctors! Kahei is awake!”

Kahei turned her head to where Haseul was speaking and saw another girl jolting awake and running into the hallway. Kahei took this time to look around. She was in a hospital? Since when? 

Soon, the doctor and some nurses rushed in, doing check ups and what not. 

“Wong Kahei.” The doctor spoke. “Do you know who you are?”

Kahei weakly nodded. 

“Do you remember anything?”

Kahei tried her hardest, and flashes of her memory were coming back to her. Yes, Haseul and Sooyoung were her best friends. She gave the doctor another weak nod.

“Do you remember what happened?”

To that, she shook her head.

“Well,” The doctor started, “You were in an accident and fell into a coma two years ago.” 

Kahei shook her head again and tried to sit up, but the nurses only gently pushed her back down again. 

“You shouldn’t move around too much yet. You’ll have to be bedridden for another two weeks or so, and then start physical therapy. Your body hasn’t been used in a while, so you’re going to have to get them used to moving around again.” The doctor nodded. “But for now, just drink some water and relax.”

Kahei couldn’t say anything. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. 

* * *

“You’re doing so much better, Kahei!” The nurse exclaimed. “Your recovery has been extraordinary. Most people take longer, but it must be your will to get up and moving again that’s helping you. I always say, if your mind is in it, everything is possible.”

Kahei gave the nurse a smile. “Does that mean I’m finished for the day?”

The nurse nodded. “Yep, I’ll walk you back to your room!”

The nurse slung one of Kahei’s arms around her shoulders and wrapped an arm around Kahei’s waist to support her. The walked slowly through the hallway back to Kahei’s room, but Kahei stopped at a door. 

“What’s up, Kahei?” The nurse asked. “Your room is the next room.”

Kahei was looking into the room through the window. “Who’s in this room?”

“Oh, it’s Jung Jinsoul. She’s a coma patient like you. She’s been in a coma for about three years now.” The nurse nodded.

No, this couldn’t be. Kahei was going crazy. Pictures flashed in her mind of a blonde haired girl with a quirky smile. Pictures of someone she loved. How could someone she’s never met be appearing in her memories? Nothing was making sense to her. They didn’t have the same blonde hair, but everything else was a perfect copy. She was sure that the Jinsoul that was in a coma was her Jinsoul. 

That night, Kahei had a weird dream. 

She re-lived everything. Meeting Hyunjin. Meeting Jinsoul. Hanging out with Jinsoul. Kissing Jinsoul. Holding her hand. Cuddling with her at night. Telling Jinsoul that she loved her.

She woke up in a sweat at four in the morning. She reached over to take a glass cup and pour water from the pitcher. She chugged down the water and got out of bed. Kahei didn’t think she could sleep anymore. 

She exited her room and bowed to the nurses and doctors who were still going around. She made her way to the room next to her and entered. Pulling up a chair to the hospital bed, she sat and watched Jinsoul. Every feature of her face was as she remembered it. She timidly brought her hand up to Jinsoul’s, taking it in her own and giving it a firm squeeze.

The door to the room slid open and brought Kahei out of her thoughts. She turned to see another girl with blonde hair.

“Who are you?” She asked. “Do you know Jinsoul?”

“I’m Wong Kahei.” Kahei gave her a soft smile before looking back at Jinsoul. “And yeah, I did know her.”

“I’m Kim Jungeun.” The girl was now standing besides Kahei and looking down at Jinsoul. “She’s my best friend. I always visit her when I get off work, which, unfortunately, is at four in the morning.”

Jungeun looked at Kahei. “You’re wearing hospital clothes, are you admitted here?”

Kahei nodded and spoke softly. “Yeah, I’m in the next room. I was a coma patient too. I just woke up not too long ago.”

“Ah, I see.” Jungeun took a deep, shaky breath. “I wish Soul would wake up too.”

The mention of the nickname brought memories to Kahei. If she wasn’t a hundred percent sure before, she was a thousand times over sure now. This was her Jinsoul. 

Kahei stood from the chair and offered it to Jungeun. “I should give you some time with her and get back to my room. See you sometimes?”

Jungeun nodded with a smile and watched as Kahei left the room before taking a seat. 

* * *

Throughout her stay at the hospital, Kahei would visit Jinsoul as much as she could. Sometimes she’d even be with Jinsoul while Jungeun was in there, and in that time they spent together, they had exchanged numbers. She had read up on some website that talking to coma patients could possibly help them come back. So that’s what she did, everyday, whenever she was free.

“You know, you look really good in blonde, but you look just as beautiful with your natural hair color.” Kahei smiled as her thumb rubbed circles on Jinsoul’s hand. “Also, these hospital clothes don’t do justice to your figure, unlike that one jumpsuit you were wearing for our anniversary.”

Kahei glanced at the clock before looking back at Jinsoul. 

“I keep thinking, that any second now, you’ll open your eyes and wake up. That you’ll see me and remember like I do. That you’ll fall into my arms and we’ll kiss, and it’ll be like the grandest moment in a romance movie.” Kahei laughed at herself. “I’m stupid for thinking that, aren’t I?”

Kahei brought up Jinsoul’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I’ll be back, Soul. I have to go to physical therapy. I love you.”

She trudged out of Jinsoul’s room and made her way to where they held physical therapies. 

“Oh, Kahei! You’re here early!” The nurse greeted her and took out her pen to take some notes. “Are you ready?”

Kahei nodded and they got on with the exercises. The nurse was still stunned at how fast Kahei was recovering, and by the end of the session, she was nodding in amazement. “Kahei, I know I tell you this every day, but your recovery is amazing. You’ll be able to be discharged by the end of the week!”

“Thank you, Nurse Lee. It’s all thanks to you that I was able to recover this quickly. You honestly gave me strength with your bright personality.” Kahei smiled.

Nurse Lee smiled widely, opening her arms out. “Aww, come here, Kahei!”

She enveloped Kahei in a tight hug. “And once you’re out, we should get a drink together sometimes. Call me Siyeon, we can be friends after you’re discharged.”

Kahei basked in the warmth of the hug. It had been a while since she hugged someone, and it just made her miss Jinsoul even more. Once Nurse Lee, or Siyeon, released her from the hug, she walked back to her room. She glanced into Jinsoul’s on the way, but it seemed like there were people in there and she didn’t want to intrude on their time. She could visit Jinsoul later.

She laid in her bed and the only thing she could think about was Jinsoul. She knew it was the same Jinsoul, but how? How was it possible? She’d been talking to Haseul and Sooyoung about it, but they’d yet to come to an explanation. 

* * *

Kahei awoke from her nap to the ringing of her phone. She checked the caller ID through her sleep filled eyes. Haseul.

“Hello? Haseul? What’s up?”

_ “Kahei, I think we found a possible explanation.” _

“What?” She immediately sat up. “Are you serious?”

_ “Yeah, we were searching through Google and found something similar on the fifteenth page. Me and Sooyoung are coming over so we can talk this out.” _

“Alright, I’ll be in my room. Can’t wait to see you guys!”

_ “Yeah, see you soon! And as always, love you!” _

Kahei paced around the room impatiently as she waited, and when they burst through the door, she was relieved. 

“So!?”

“Okay, first, sit down.” Sooyoung said as she made Kahei sit on her bed. 

The other two sat on the other end of the bed facing Kahei. 

“Basically,” Haseul started, “From what I gathered from the website, it talked about a sort of purgatory for people in comas. It’s like our world, but it’s always good weather and it’s almost dreamlike, but it’s normal for the coma patients.”

“The weird part is, people don’t really find people that they’ve met in the purgatory world in real life. It’s a very small chance, and yet, you’ve had the chance.” Sooyoung nodded, “That’s why most former coma patients don’t really remember anything about the purgatory world. There has to be something that triggers it, and for you, it was Jinsoul.”

Kahei slowly nodded as she put everything together in her mind. It didn’t make sense, but at the same time, it made perfect sense. 

“So basically, I’m not going crazy.” Kahei let out a sigh of relief. 

“No, you are not.” Haseul reassured.

“And your feelings for Jinsoul are valid.”

* * *

By the end of the week, Kahei was discharged with Siyeon’s number having been entered into her phone. Kahei was glad to finally be at home eating good food instead of on a stiff hospital bed eating their stale food.

Haseul and Sooyoung had come to pick her up and they had surprised Kahei at her own apartment with a small welcome back party. 

“Kahei, you still remember me right?” Haseul’s little sister Yeojin asked.

“I’m sorry..” Kahei feigned a guilty look, and when Yeojin looked like she was on the verge of tears, she let up. “I’m sorry I can’t ever forget you, Yeojin.”

She grinned, only to be hit in return. “Hey! Careful, I just got discharged.”

“Why are you being mean! I missed you so much, Kahei.” Yeojin sniffled and hugged Kahei.

“I missed you too, kiddo.” She smiled and patted Yeojin’s head. “Should we eat? I’m starving, honestly.”

Their party ended with everyone falling asleep in Kahei’s living room during a movie, and the next morning, they all woke up to clean. After cleaning, they sat in the living room in comfortable silence, glad to have their friend back.

Kahei was the one who broke the silence with her soft voice. “How… How did I get into an accident?”

Sooyoung bit her lip and looked to Haseul.

“Kahei…” Haseul took a deep breath. “We were driving home after a school event, and a reckless driver hit our car and we spun out of control. You took it the hardest. You had a head injury. Me and Sooyoung got out with broken bones, but you were unconscious.”

Haseul took a shaky breath. “Kahei, we thought we lost you forever. We always thought what if you didn’t wake up again? What if you’d never wake up? So imagine how happy and overwhelmed we were when you woke up. I don’t remember how much I cried because I missed you.”

Kahei pulled a crying Haseul in for a hug, and Sooyoung and Yeojin joined her, all of them ending up crying.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I took such a long time to wake up.” 

“Kahei, you have nothing to be sorry for, why are you apologizing!” Yeojin shouted through her sobs.

Kahei let out a small laugh, “I’m sorry I let you guys cry and worry over me so much.”

“We’re your friends, we can worry about you!” Sooyoung said after a sniffle, bringing a hand up to wipe her tears.

* * *

Kahei had spent the last six months visiting Jinsoul at the hospital and talking to her about anything that popped into her mind.

Some days, she’d talk about what they did in the purgatory world. She’d hoped Jinsoul wasn’t crying now that Kahei wasn’t there anymore. She’d hoped that the purgatory world would be nice enough to erase her memories of Kahei, but if not, she’d hope Jinsoul would stop acting tough and confide in Hyunjin and Heejin about her feelings. 

Other days, she’d ask the unresponsive Jinsoul about how she was in the real world. She’d wonder if Jinsoul was as nerdy. She’d wonder if she’d be just as whiny when she didn’t get her good night kisses. She’d wonder if Jinsoul was as clingy.

She’d hope that Jinsoul was the same in both worlds. She’d wondered if Jinsoul would ever wake up. She’d hoped that she would.

“I miss you, Soul.” Kahei squeezed Jinsoul’s hand, her eyes tearing up and a tear rolling down. “I swear to you, that when you wake up, I’m going to be the first one to confess this time. I’ll be the first to kiss you.”

Just then, the door slid open. She turned to the door to see a couple standing there, Jinsoul having a slight resemblance to the both of them. She quickly wiped her face of the tears and stood up.  

“I’m sorry, I’ll let you have your time with her.” She walked towards the door but was stopped when the woman held her arm.

“Did you know our Jindollie?”

How was she supposed to answer this? Technically, Kahei had never met Jinsoul in real life, but she loved Jinsoul. Kahei bit her lip and tried to hold back her tears, wiping them away when they tried to escape. She nodded, “She was special to me.”

The mother pulled her in and hugged her. 

“Don’t wipe your tears. Go ahead and cry.” She was a softspoken woman, just like Jinsoul when she would talk to her. The woman rubbed Kahei’s back as she cried into her shoulder. They stood there until Kahei was emptied of her tears. She raised her head and wiped the tears with the sleeve of her coffee colored sweater. 

“It’s okay to cry when you are missing someone you love very much,” Jinsoul’s mother said. “So when you are sad, just cry. Don’t try to hold back or act strong.”

“Thank you.” Kahei went to bow, but was stopped by Jinsoul’s mother. 

“Don’t thank me,” She said. “Thank you for being Jinsoul’s friend, and for letting her have a special place in your heart.” The mother breathed deeply. “We were always worried about our Jindollie. We wondered if she’d be able to make friends. She was bullied a lot as a kid and we just hoped that she wouldn’t be hurt. She has such a big heart and she never held hatred to the kids who were mean to her. But we worried that she was hurting deep down.”

Hearing that, Kahei started tearing up again. How could someone be so kind?

“So thank you, for being someone that our Jindollie could lean on.” Jinsoul’s mother started to cry, and Jinsoul’s father held her. 

“Thank you for giving birth to such a beautiful person, Mr. and Mrs. Jung.” Kahei gave the mother a hug before she bid her farewell for the day and left.

* * *

4:33AM and Kahei was woken up by her phone. It was Jungeun.

“Hello? Jungeun?” Her voice was raspy and her eyes still held on to sleep.

_ “Kahei, it’s Jinsoul, something’s wroㅡ” _

Kahei didn’t let Jungeun finish and hung up. From what she heard, Jungeun’s voice was shaky, as if she was on the verge of crying. Kahei threw on a sweater and laced up her sneakers as quick as she could before she bolted out of her apartment. She sprinted with all her might to the hospital, and once inside, she maneuvered her way to Jinsoul’s room. She found Jungeun and Jinsoul’s parents standing outside the room. She breathed heavily and could hear the erratic beeping of the machines she was hooked up to. 

“Is- Is she going to be okay?” Kahei asked between her shallow breaths.

“We don’t know yet.” Jungeun replied. She was pacing around, nervous.

Kahei breathed heavily as she tried to level her breathing, hands on her knees as she stared at the ground. There was too much talking between the doctors and nurses in Jinsoul’s room and Kahei couldn’t make out anything they were saying.

Suddenly the machines started beeping more rapidly and one of the doctors shouted. “Someone get a stretcher in here!”

Hearing this, Kahei and the rest panicked. There were then some doctors wheeling a stretcher their way and shouting for people to get out of the way. Kahei, Jungeun, and Jinsoul’s parents lined against the wall to make room for the stretcher. Once it came back out, Jinsoul’s mother immediately went to one of the doctors.

“What’s going on? Will my daughter be okay?” She asked frantically, tugging on the doctor’s arm as the group followed the doctors and nurses.

“We don’t know yet, we have to do an emergency surgery.” Kahei felt her tears coming back.

The group was stopped by nurses once they reached the operating room to stay outside. Kahei and Jungeun sat together across from Jinsoul’s parents. An hour passed and the doctors were yet to come out with news. 

Jinsoul’s father had gotten them all some water. Kahei turned to Jungeun.

“Jungeun,” Her voice was soft, almost inaudible if not for the deafening silence. “Can I use your phone to call my friends? I left mine at home to run here.”

Jungeun nodded and gave her phone to Kahei.

“Haseul…” 

_ “Kahei? It’s almost six in the morning, what are you doing up so late?” _

“I’m at the hospital.”

_ “Oh my god, Kahei, are you alright? Did something happen?” _

“It’s not me… It’s Jinsoul. She’s in surgery right now.”

_ “Jinsoul… Do you want us to be there?” _

“Please… I don’t think I can bear this alone right now, even if I’m with Jungeun and Jinsoul’s parents. I need you guys.”

_ “We’ll be there as fast as we can. You guys probably haven’t had anything to eat either, we’ll bring some food.” _

“Thanks, Haseul. I love you.”

_ “I love you too, Kahei.” _

Kahei hung up and passed the phone back to Jungeun. They spent the time in silence as they waited. Quarter of an hour after the call, Haseul, Sooyoung, and Yeojin arrived with some food for everyone. 

Sooyoung and Yeojin set the food down on a chair whilst Haseul went over to Kahei and wrapped her in a hug. 

“How are you doing, Kahei?”

“Could be better, honestly. But thank you so much for the food. We all appreciate it.” Kahei smiled. “This is Jungeun, Jinsoul’s best friend, and those are Jinsoul’s parents.’

The three girls bowed and introduced themselves before turning their attention back to Kahei. 

“She’ll be alright, Kahei.” Yeojin said.

Kahei smiled and laughed a little. “Shouldn’t you still be sleeping? You have school in a bit.”

“Who’s going to school when you’re here! I need to be here for you.” Yeojin grinned and hugged Kahei.

“Thanks.”

Haseul turned to Jungeun. “Jungeun, right? How are you holding up?”

“I haven’t been okay ever since she got into a coma.” Jungeun sighed. “I just hope she’s okay.”

“That was me too, when Kahei was in a coma. I couldn’t do anything, I didn’t  _ want _ to do anything, not without my best friend. But I thought about how she would feel if she woke up to me just moping and doing nothing in my life, and that really helped me. I think it’ll help you too, if you think about how Jinsoul wouldn’t want you to just mope about her all the time.” Haseul smiled and placed a hand over Jungeun’s. “She’d want you to be living your life and doing stuff to benefit yourself.”

“Thanks.” Jungeun smiled. 

Another hour passed. They had only eaten about half of the food due to their almost nonexistent appetites. Kahei bit her lip as she thought about all the scenarios that this could fall in. She shook her head. She couldn’t be thinking of the bad thoughts. She just hoped that Jinsoul would be okay.

Just when they thought it’d never happen, a doctor came out of the operating room. He removed his face mask and spoke to everyone who had gathered around him. 

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, but we couldn’t save her.”

Kahei dropped down to her knees, tears breaking past the wall she had built. Jinsoul’s mother erupted in sobs. Jungeun punched the seat next to her as she started to cry.

Haseul and Sooyoung immediately comforted Kahei, Sooyoung enveloping her into a hug and letting her cry on her shoulder. Haseul rubbed her back comfortingly before noticing Jungeun and moving to comfort her. Yeojin replaced Haseul, holding onto Kahei’s hand. 

This was the hardest that Sooyoung and Haseul had ever seen Kahei cry and it hurt them to see her so weak and vulnerable. 

Jungeun was crying just as hard as Kahei, her tears drenching Haseul’s shoulder. Haseul pursed her lips. She couldn’t imagine how Jungeun must have been feeling, to lose her best friend. Haseul almost lost Kahei and that was already the worst part of Haseul’s life. To actually lose her, Haseul would be devastated.

Kahei’s heart broke into a million pieces, and she didn’t think she’d ever be able to piece it back together again, not without Jinsoul.

* * *

Kahei held the bouquet of flowers tightly in her hand. She kneeled down and placed them gently in front of the tombstone. Her fingers gingerly traced over the letters of Jinsoul’s name.

“It’s been a year since you left the world, Soul.” Kahei exhaled. “I thought I’d get better, but I haven’t. I still miss you everyday. I still cry everyday.”

Her lip started quivering and she felt the lump growing at the back of her throat. She took a shaky breath. “I love you so much, Jinsoul. What am I supposed to do without you?”

Tears were now flowing freely down her face. “You used to worry so much about me. How can you leave just like that if you’re so worried?”

She clutched her heart tightly and crouched over, her forehead making contact with the cool concrete of the tombstone. “What if I never forget you? What if I can’t ever love another person because I’m still  _ so _ in love with you? What do I do without you?”

Kahei cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. She took a deep breath and wiped away her tear stained cheeks. She placed a kiss on the top of the stone.

“I love you, Jinsoul.” She whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> IM SORRY YELL AT ME ON TWT @KYAAA_ANA OR CURIOUSCAT @MIRUKIWAY


End file.
